Women of Virtue

About 18 months ago my spiritual director gave me a book by Jason Evert called "How to find your soulmate without losing your soul".  It was definitely not 21 steps to find the perfect man but 21 chapters steeped in wisdom from Holy Mother Church and tonnes of encouragement to become a woman of virtue.  It painted a vivid picture of God's vision for love, one which corresponded with the very depths of my heart.  As I closed the book, I did so with the resolve not to settle for anything less than the very best, to wait and trust in God's timing and plans.  It meant coming to know my great dignity and worth as a beloved daughter of the King and resolving to let nothing or no-one detract from this.

The more I spoke to various friends, the more I realised so many women are selling out to culture and popular opinion because no one has shown them an alternative.  They are overwhelmed by a culture which encourages them to sleep with as many men as possible, to flaunt their bodies in revealing clothes, to pick up sex tips from porn and to fix their relationships from magazines such as Cosmopolitan.  With everyone "doing it" and the fear of being "left on the shelf" many women feel it is better to jump on board then be left behind.  Most of these young women are barely out of their early 20s and this culture has completely trashed them with its empty promises of love and happiness.  When I meet them, they are hurting and in need of much healing and the only remedy the culture offers is the same one that got them into this situation.  It is the woman who has something wrong with her, not culture.  What a tragedy.

Even within my circles of Catholic friends, those women who have chosen God's vision for love and are prepared to wait, have a tough battle. In our places of work and study we are ridiculed and mocked for our choices.  We are clearly repressed by a bunch of old men in Rome who have no clue whatsoever and need to get with the times. Striving for holiness is hard work especially when everyone is encouraging you to sell out.

I think that is where good,holy friendships are so important.  To be able to come together with young women on the same path, to share your experiences and to encourage each other is a blessing.   I have two very close friends who hold me accountable in this area of my life!  We have shared many a "why is this so hard?" phone call!  But we are in it together, one family in the Church and this makes a world of difference.

Having encountered the beautiful Truth of love, we also have a duty to share this with our friends.  I cannot tell you how many times Theology of the Body has been the most wonderful healing balm for many of my hurting friends.  Even those that aren't Catholic can't deny Truth.  They want to be loved, cherished, honoured and respected.  They want a man to love them for who they are, not treat them as objects and they want a man to love them forever.  And here we as Catholics have an amazing gift to share with our friends.  This very vision of love, which comes from God and resonates with the very depths of our being is under heavy attack at the moment.  This makes the need to proclaim it all the more urgent! As Peter Kreeft commented, the sexual revolution is the greatest heresy of our time and God has given us the antidote in Theology of the Body.  So use it ladies! Do not be afraid to speak this Truth into your friends' lives. The world needs our witness to real, authentic love; even if we do sound like a voice in the wilderness at times!

Call me old fashioned but if you want a real man, a man of virtue and commitment, someone who treats women with the utmost respect and values their dignity then we as women need to be setting high standards not lowering them.   The Venerable Fulton Sheen put it this way:

“When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more noble her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women.”